Should parents apologize to their adolescents to mend their parent-adolescent relationship? A multi-method, multi-phase investigation

Abstract

Apologies following interpersonal offenses tend to mend relationships, but the role of parental apologies in the parent-adolescent relationship is understudied. Further, parental apologies may have diametrical effects on the parent-adolescent relationship depending on their phrasing. In this three-phase study, we recruited 288 adolescents to assess the role of perceived (phase 1), coded (phase 2), and manipulated (phase 3) parental victim-centered and defensive apologies in the parent-adolescent relationship (i.e., adolescent forgiveness, relationship satisfaction, and perceptions of parental authority). Results from all three phases converged to suggest that victim-centered apologies predict greater forgiveness, more autonomous and less controlled motivations to forgive, and higher relationship satisfaction, compared to defensive apologies or no apologies. We found limited associations between parental apologies and parental authority.

Keywords: forgiveness; parental apology; parental authority; parent‐adolescent relationship; self‐determination theory.